You've got to be Joking!

Level 92

retrotecchie

16-12-22

@Tommysgirl

Our works Christmas do was a Christmas themed fancy dress affair this year. Lots of elfs, lots of Santa's, even a couple of folks dressed as Christmas puddings. One young lad turned up with a pair of ladies knickers on his head. When the boss asked him what that was all about, he said "Those? They're Carol's".

Don't shoot me, I'm only the piano player. I DON'T work for or on behalf of EON.Next, but am willing to try and help if I can. Not on mains gas, mobile network or mains drainage. House heated almost entirely by baby dragons.

Level 92

retrotecchie

16-12-22

Not saying that times were hard when I was a nipper, but I got an empty cardboard box one Christmas and me Mam told me it was an Action Man deserter.

Almost as disappointing as the year all I got in my stocking was 'oss manure. Mam told me that Santa had brought me a pony but it had run away.

Guest

Tommysgirl

16-12-22

Originally Posted by retrotecchie

Not saying that times were hard when I was a nipper, but I got an empty cardboard box one Christmas and me Mam told me it was an Action Man deserter.

Almost as disappointing as the year all I got in my stocking was 'oss manure. Mam told me that Santa had brought me a pony but it had run away.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🎁💂🧦🐎🐴🎄� ��🤶😃🤣

Last edited by Tommysgirl; 16-12-22 at 19:56. Reason: Adding info

Level 91

JoeSoap

17-12-22

Q. What goes Ho Ho Ho Clunk?

A. Father Christmas laughing his head off.

I'm an Eon Next dual fuel customer with no particular expertise but have some time on my hands that I am using to try and help out a bit.

Level 92

retrotecchie

17-12-22

@JoeSoap

Q. What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white,?
A. A penguin falling down the stairs.

Q. What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black, pink, black, brown, black, black,?
A. A penguin on a rotisserie.

Guest

Tommysgirl

17-12-22

@retrotecchie
Q: What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? A: He got 25 days.📅
Q:How did Scrooge score a goal at the football match? A: The ghost of Christmas passed.👻⚽🎅
Q:Who is Santa's favourite singer? A:Elf-is Presley🎅🧝👨‍🎤

Level 92

retrotecchie

19-12-22

Rudolph gets his end of year school report and takes it home to his parents. Mr and Mrs Reindeer study it very carefully for a few minutes and Mum says to Rudolph...

"Not bad my lad, not bad at all. A for Maths and English, A* for geography, B for Physics and Chemistry as well as French, B* for Computer Studies and PE. Very well done indeed. I'm proud of you!" and gives him a big kiss.

"But look", his Dad interjects. "There's an E here too. I told you you'd go down in History!"

Guest

Tommysgirl

19-12-22

@retrotecchie
Q: What happened when Santa went speed dating?
A: He pulled a cracker!🎅
Q: Who is a Christmas Trees favourite singer?
A: Spruce Springsteen.🎄
Q: Why are the Government having trouble with their Nativity play?
A: They can't find Three Wise Men.🤴🤴🤴

Level 92

retrotecchie

20-12-22

@Tommysgirl

Q. What goes Oh! Oh! Oh! ?
A. Santa walking backwards.

Guest

Tommysgirl

21-12-22

Originally Posted by retrotecchie

@Tommysgirl

Q. What goes Oh! Oh! Oh! ?
A. Santa walking backwards.

Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A Bin Lorry.🚛
Q: Why are our noses always tired in Winter?👃❄
A: Because they run outside all day.