Current Eon Next and EDF customer, ex Zog and Symbio. Don't think dual fuel saves money and don't like smart meters. Chronologically Gifted. If I offend let me know by private message, but I’ll continue to express my opinions nonetheless.
Shortly after I finished my education I was working in a vineyard in France when Marvin Gaye turned up and gave me a sheep to look after.
So I'd herd it through the grapevines.
@meldrewreborn; @retrotecchie; @JohnT,
A man was on trial for car theft. The Judge asks him: "Why did you steal the car?"
"I had to get to work", the man replies.
The Judge then asks:: "Why didn't you take a bus?"
The man replies: "Because I don't have a PSV Licence".
A doctor says to his patient: "I can't find anything wrong with you, It must be the drink!"
The patient replies: "That's OK, I'll come back when you're sober."
Last edited by Tommysgirl; 14-01-23 at 14:51.
Reason: Adding info
An arsonist receives a custodial sentence after appearing before the Court. He's taken to prison where one of the warders escorts him to a cell already occupied by another 'guest'. Having introduced himself to his new cell mate, he enquires as to the nature of his offence.
"Stealing a car and using it in a ram raid." the other lag told him. "They gave me two years."
"I'm in for arson. Pouring petrol over bus shelters and setting them on fire.", he replied.
"Oh, right. What did you get?" the other prisoner asked?
"Well, it varied" he answered "but usually about four to the gallon."
Don't shoot me, I'm only the piano player. I DON'T work for or on behalf of EON.Next, but am willing to try and help if I can. Not on mains gas, mobile network or mains drainage. House heated almost entirely by baby dragons.
@retrotecchie; @meldrewreborn; @JohnT
1) A man gets into a taxi at Kings Cross station. "Where to Guv?" asks the taxi-driver.
"Waterloo" says the man.
"The Station?" asks the taxi-driver.
"Yes" replies the man, "I'm too late for the battle!"
2) A woman crashed her car. She told the police officer the man she collided with was on his mobile phone and drinking a can of beer.
The police officer replied "He can do what he likes in his own living room Madam".
@retrotecchie; @meldrewreborn; @JohnT
A movie studio is casting roles for a docu-drama about famous Classical music composers:🎹🎻
Tom Cruise says "I'll play the part of Mozart";
Liam Neeson says "I'll make a great Beethoven"; and
Arnold Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach"!
Q. What did Mozart do after he died?
A. Started decomposing
A chemistry teacher was sat in the lab, preparing a solution for an experiment. The class were being a bit unruly while copying notes from the board and causing a bit of a kerfuffle. The teacher was adding a salt to the solution one spoon at a time and counting to himself "one gram per litre, two grams per litre, three grams per litre...".
All of a sudden he called out "Will you lot pipe down. I'm trying to concentrate!"
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