[DebF_EONNext]

**Please note this thread does come with a trigger warning - themes around eating disorders are discussed within this thread.**

24th Feb - 2nd March is Eating Disorder Awareness Week. I know how much of a difficult subject this can be to talk about however as someone who is (and will always be) in recovery I feel that it's important not to shy away from it so I am sharing my story and if my experience can help even just 1 person then I am happy.

What is an eating disorder?

The official definition in the Oxford Dictionary is "any of a range of mental conditions in which there is a persistent disturbance of eating behaviour and impairment of physical or mental health."

I however personally prefer the definition given by Mind "An eating problem is any relationship with food that you find difficult. But eating problems aren't just about food. They can be about trying cope with or hide painful feelings, even from yourself" - it's simpler and doesn't sound so harsh and judgmental.

There are many different eating disorders here are some of the better known:

• ARFID - avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder
• Anorexia
• Bulimia
• Binge eating disorder
• Pica

There are many many more out there however today I am talking about my struggle with Bulimia - I am bulimic, I am in recovery however I have to work hard to stay recovering!

During my early teenage years, life became overwhelming. I had a chaotic childhood coupled with body changes and the challenges of changing school, making new friends as well as a chaotic home life left me unable to cope. The only thing left that I felt I could control was my body and what I ate - I became obsessed.

Obsessed with fitness spending hours at the gym, swimming, dance classes and karate. I would look at myself in the mirror with hate which led to daily binges where I would consume snacks meant to last a family a month in a 20 minute sitting. I would feel so disgusted in myself that I would purge until my stomach hurt and there was nothing left but blood, this became my daily routine.

Initially I hid things terrified I would be taken from my family and judged. When people started to notice I was made to go to the GP and thankfully she was supportive and understanding. I was referred to an eating disorder clinic and received therapy and medication. Although the journey was long with many set backs I have been able to address my triggers.

I did relapse during pregnancy where morning sickness became an unexpected trigger however with the right support I gave birth to a healthy baby boy and managed to get back on track! I haven't had a relapse in 16 years now but it is still a struggle everyday and now I have the tools and support in place that I recognise when I am going downhill and my people know the signs and triggers to look out for too.

How can I get help with an eating disorder?

There are lots of places to get support and even though you may not know where to turn and feel incredibly lonely it's important to remember you're not alone in this.

• Our charity support partner Mind has lot's of information on their website for all kinds of eating problems which has some fantastic resources.
• Contact your G.P it might seem like a scary step but this is their job, they will be able to support you and sign post you to get the support you need.
• There's lot's of online self help groups, resources and information - such as BEAT: The UK's Eating Disorder Charity who have chat rooms, helplines and resources.
• Talk to friends and family or someone else that you trust.
• Be kind to yourself, it's ok to need some help this does not mean you've failed it makes you a stronger person!

What can I do to support someone with an eating disorder?

I have amazing friends and family around me and I feel like I have a great support network but some people don't have that support. Now I don't speak for everyone with an eating disorder but here are some of the things that have helped me over the years:

Patience - Sometimes I have been stuck in my own head and can't see any way forward, I have been a nightmare but my support system knew it wasn't something I was in control of and the remained calm and patient with me, which I appreciated.

Understanding & Knowledge - Learn about the condition your loved one is going through. Arming yourself with that knowledge will help you to support and advocate for them when they may not be in a position to do this themselves.

Learn patterns, behaviours and triggers - This can be hard as we often hide our issues with food but watch out for things like behaviours at meal times, rushing to the toilet straight after eating, restrictive eating patterns, obsessive exercise and changes in mood etc.

Try to make meal times stress free - Recovery will take time, don't try to force your loved one to eat as this could have the opposite effect, remember for a lot of people with eating disorders it can be about taking back control, be patient, kind and understanding.

Take time out for yourself - It can be very worrying looking after someone with an eating disorder but it's important to look after yourself, your loved one still loves you and doesn't want to see you in pain. Take time out for yourself even if it's just reading a book or going for a quick walk. When you are re-charged it will make it easier to support your loved one.